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The thing that is so great about impressions is that you get to see someone pretend to be somebody else and say things that that person would never say. Nobody does better sport impressions then this man.
The Bush and Madden is historical in how good it is. The Barkley is so good its creepy. But the Jim Rome is awesome!
As a man, its your responsibility to know how to handle money. CNN Money has designed a tool to grade your current situation. Take the test to see where you stand. Of course, I got an A+ without even cheating.
The test only takes 30 seconds and doesn't require you to pull out any bank statements. Take The Financial Test now.
[via YouTube and Instructables] This video is a stop-motion tribute to 8-bit NES gaming through the use of legos. After you watch the video, check out the "How to build a Nintendo arcade" DIY project.
Follow this link to see instructions on how to build your own NES arcade. [Instructables]
[Failblog.org] This woman has figured out the secrets to farming: free food, robots, and perfect pesticides. Oh, and she's on live TV.
[Failblog.org] Here's a guy who believes on taking things head on (literally).
Here's a childrens choir singing "Eye of the Tiger". It warms my heart and and makes me want to fight Mr. T and Dolf Lungren at the same time.
Swype is a pretty amazing technology that is supposed 'to change' the way we text. As they say: "Swype finger-tracing text entry seems fast, hypnotic, and magical." "Say good-by to tap-tap-tapping extensive messages into your not-so-convenient Smartphone"
I have heard there a few different features that pose difficulties but overall, once you understand this technology and speaks its language, it could be pretty amazing!
[SlightlyWarped.com] "Gibraltar Airport (which is a British overseas territory) is a very unusual airport. To my knowledge, it is the only one where the runway actually intersects with a major highway. When a plane has to take off or land, traffic is shut down." Big pictures below.
Just how far and how accurate do you think you can be on a slip'n slide? I always had dreams as a child of what could be done, but I never carried them this far. This is unreal. Just where do you think he is going to land when he leaves the jump?
This is part of a viral ad campaign for Microsoft. [Source]
[BBC Brazil] Nissan has concept car that makes parallel parking a snap. Too bad this wasn't invented earlier. It could have saved women lots of embarrassment. Watch car in action below.
Jet Blue is allowing customers to purchase an all access pass for $599. This allows you to fly anywhere in the U.S. that they fly between September 8 and October 8, 2009. Seems like a great way to get a month of weekend getaways. I just wish that I had the time and $600 to spend.
With the new "Cash for Clunkers" program Conan O'Brian has decided to team up with Lexus to give their own deal. They are holding a contest to find the worst car in American that they will blow up on The Tonight Show. In return you get a brand new Lexus hybrid. (I knew someone should have held onto that demolition derby car from a few years ago!) Enter the contest at Conan, Please Blow Up My Car!
[via Techcult] Create havoc in the workplace, at home, or with your friends by utilizing this list of "The 25 Best High-Tech Pranks." It's primarily a cheat sheet of how to mess with other's computers. Use with caution.
Follow the link at the bottom to read the full list but I've listed my favorites below. Because computer systems and programs are in constant flux, be sure to test the prank on a comparable unit before going in for the kill:
1. The Restart Remap
We start with one sure to throw off even the most advanced Windows user. Setup is simple and you need only a few seconds alone on someone’s computer. When you get a chance, sneak over and right-click your pal’s icon to Internet Explorer or some other commonly used program. Edit the properties and change the target to: “%windir%\system32\shutdown.exe -r -t 00″ Now, every time your buddy tries to run IE, his machine will mysteriously restart — and your laughter will instantly result.
3. Disappearing Desktop
A classic computer prank never goes out of style. The desktop image trick has been around for a bit, but rest assured: There are plenty of unsuspecting victims still to be found. Just head over to an unattended computer, minimize all the windows, and hit the Print Screen key. Paste the captured image into any graphic editing program — even Microsoft Paint will do — then save the file and set it as the desktop background. Then, all you have to do is hide the actual icons on the desktop — put them in a folder somewhere — and your victim will try endlessly to click the nonexistent icons, which are actually just part of the background image. For another variation, leave one program open when you capture the screen and watch as the person tries to click on it, type in it, and close it to no avail.
14. Phone Fun
Let’s shift to the phone for a bit. First, a service that never gets old: PrankDial.com. Just surf over and enter a friend’s phone number. You can pick from a bunch of different voices and styles, then enter any message you want, and it’ll call them and say it aloud. You can pull three of these pranks every day at no charge, which ought to leave you plenty of obnoxious options.
21. Screen Scream
Our next prank comes courtesy of Microsoft, surprisingly enough. The programmers there released an office “Blue Screen of Death” simulator. Install the screensaver on an unsuspecting IT guy’s PC and see the feared symbol of system error pop up after a few minutes of inactivity.
Techcult
Do you ever get frustrated with restaurants that only offer 5 different kinds of soda? Coke has invented a machine that dispenses over 100 varieties of Coke products. I think it also does some sort of time travel. Videos of a demo and real customers using it below:
I'll bet a suicide drink would actually kill you.
Here's Coke's demo:
Customers being astounded by that machine:
George Costanza has always been outcast for his logic when it comes to peeing in the shower. Well now water shortages in Brazil have caused officials to find creative ways to save water. Its easy, just pee in the shower. Doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, or a murderer. Both videos below:
Brazilians make the best sense. I think you can understand this video even if you don't speak portuguese:
If you've never thought of peeing in the shower, maybe you should listen to George: "It's all pipes!":
There seems to be plenty of idiots around. Just ask Jay Leno. This article in the AOL jobs section from CareerBuilder.com provides advice on what NOT to say during an interview for a job. I've highlighted some of the best below:
Why are you leaving your current job?
19. "Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building." - Abbe Mortimore, Human Resources Manager, True Textiles, Inc.
Why are you looking for a job?
21. "Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job." - Pechstein
What are your assets? (as in strengths)
26. "Well, I do own a bike." - Pam Venné, principal, The Venné Group
What are your weaknesses?
27. "I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won't get mad at you." - Pechstein
Is there anything else I should know about you?
32. "You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends." - Venne
Random responses
38. "[A] guy said he did not have a mailing address, as he was living in a gypsy camp at the airport." - Sandra L. Flippo, SPHR
39. "I went into the lobby to pick up a candidate. As he stood up, his trousers fell to the floor! [He said] 'Oh, my gosh -- they told me I needed a suit for the interview. I've got no money -- so I borrowed this thing. It's too big!'" - Beth Ross, executive and career coach
Here's the rest of the blunders.
David Thorne is a man who definitely does not take life too seriously. You may remember his picture of a spider that wasn't accepted as a payment. This time he gives us the email correspondence from his landlord about having dogs in the apartment.
David received this letter detailing residents' complaint:
Here are the resulting emails:
_____________________________________________________________________________From: David Thorne
_____________________________________________________________________________
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhea.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
They are very small ducks.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.
Helen
And just in case you wanted to learn more about Helen, David has written this bio:
_____________________________________________________________________________
If I had a large backyard, I would probably have about a thousand dogs but as my apartment is very small, I cannot have any due to both the Strata agreement and the fact that they would need to be taken for walks every day and I am too lazy for that. There is a park across the road from us but the last time I went there I was offered money to provide a sexual act which was kind of flattering but I declined and told them that I was late for a meeting which was a lie as I think I just played Unreal Tournament the rest of that day.
I did have a goldfish named (posthumously) Stinky who lived in a vase with a plant. When he died I figured it would be nice to leave him there so that his body would break down and fertilize the plant but after a few weeks the smell was so bad I could not enter the apartment without a towel wrapped around my face. My first thought was to take him to work and hide him in my Bosses car but out of respect Seb and I gave him a vikings funeral instead.
I love how he said she lied and really played Unreal Tournament for the rest of the day.
You can find more David Thorn stories here (be sure to click the 27b/6 logo in the top right side of the screen).
[via College Humor]I can totally see Spoon starring in a remake of this classic and timeless 'up yours' technique.
"That's your commie lesson for the day, kids."
Have you ever wondered how unique your name is? I know that is something that I think about daily. Here is a little site that can answer that for you. There are 48 of me.
HowManyOfMe.com
