Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa

Jack Bauer is known for his legendary interrogations. Biting jugulars, shooting kneecaps, and making people talk. Well, can he make Santa himself talk?

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2009's Top 5 Youtube Videos

The Youtube blog released the top 5 Youtube videos of 2009. Guess what? The Man-Log covered all of them (except for #4 for obvious reasons). The winners are:



(links below point to them on the Man-Log)

1. Susan Boyle - Britain's Got Talent (120+ million views) Man-Logged 4 days after posted
2. David After Dentist (37+ million views) Man-Logged 6 days after posted
3. JK Wedding Entrance Dance (33+ million views) Man-Logged 9 days after posted
4. New Moon Movie Trailer (31+ million views)
5. Evian Roller Babies (27+ million views) Man-Logged 17 days after posted

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Fat Guy in a little... seat

[FlightGlobal.com] I live in the Midwest. People are huge out here. Just go to our local Walmart. This guy was spotted on an American Airlines flight.




The guy next to him is probably thinking, "Please oh please, don't fart!"

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A Gambling Hero

This is where gambling meets respect. This is where old school meets new school. A modern day Robin Hood is soliciting offers of people who are in debt and he will play high stakes Blackjack till he pays off their debt. Oh and if he doesn't win, he'll pay it himself.



Are you buried in bills? About to lose your home? On the brink of financial ruin? If so, this could be your big break. "Robin Hood 702", a self-made man and expert Blackjack player wants to use his skills to help you. He will select one deserving family based on their video submission and fly them to Las Vegas, Nevada. Robin Hood 702 will provide an all-expense paid weekend at the Palazzo Resort-Hotel Casino, which includes a true high-roller suite. show tickets to the hottest shows in town, spa appointments and meals in the city's finest restaurants. You will live like the high roller Robin Hood 702 is, then watch him win the money you need to become debt-free. A Fox News crew will be on hand to document the event.

"Robin Hood 702" guarantees if you're selected, at least half of your bills will get paid no matter what happens at the Blackjack table.

Submissions should be 1-3 minutes in length and reflect not just your current financial situation but other factors illustrating how you've gotten where you are and why you deserve Robin Hood 702's help. You can also submit for a friend. Verification of debt will be required. This is not a joke or a scam. This is one man trying to make a difference in the lives of deserving Americans, hoping others will do the same.

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4-year Old Burglar

At first, I am sure this reads like a cute story of a little 4yr old that was found stealing a lollipop or something at the store. Read Further... This kid was found in a little girl's dress and with an empty beer in his hand! This wasn't all... oh and he's FOUR!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Football Lineman Not There

I still don't get this video. I have watched it 10x and it still confuses me. I mean, was this guy high? Can he not see the play going on? Has he gotten so many offside penalties that he refuses to get another?

What are your thoughts?

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Huge Hawaii Wave

Nothing too much to say here.... but a lot to watch! Oh and for the record, I claim to want or to do a lot of things - I would NEVER be insane enough to do this.

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Hawkeye's Rap

This football player from Iowa cannot be serious? I mean, how does he not get beat up for something like this? Oh and the scary thing to me is - he tries so hard that he actually thinks it's impressive. Doesn't he have a mom or a girlfriend to tell him before he post it for the world to see?

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Best Christmas Decoration Ever

I just have one question to ask: You ready for the single greatest Christmas decoration for all time?





"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down:

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

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Why Men Should Not Give Advice

I know that most women don't come to men for advice. And when they start talking, they aren't really asking for advice, they just want you to listen. I think it may have to do something with this..

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GROUPON - Collective Buying Power

While I don't watch Oprah very often, but my wife loves her and I end up watching it. One website Oprah covered was called groupon.com - It is a website where you sign-up and say what city you live in, and then each day you get an e-mail highlighting the deal of that day. The deals are typically not for merchandise, but are geared towards restaurants, entertainment/night-life and theater, etc. Companies offer a steep discount to users of groupon because they more than make-up the losses in individual ticket/entree prices through sheer volume. Check it out.

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Auto Shop Employee Goes On $1 Million Bender

In the spirit of FML I’ve stumbled across this site which aims to put a price tag on such life altering events.

Take this one where an auto dealership employee from New York is almost certainly looking for a job now that he’s wrecked one of the world’s rarest supercars.  Read on.

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And you wonder why Blockbuster is in trouble…

I found this a few weeks back and I still find it a thoroughly amusing read.  True or not (unlikely), let it be an example to us all of how there’s more than one way to get to “Yes.”

“Dear Mr Thorne,

I am writing to advise that the movies borrowed on the 14th of October are now three weeks overdue and have accumulated fees of $82.  Please return the following movies….

Go to site

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Blueprints for your Man Cave

As you finalize the blueprints for your perfect Man Cave be sure to consider adding one or two of these! (Read more.)

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FMyLife Snippets

Its been a while since we highlighted fmylife.com. In case you haven't been there in a while, I've collected some for your enjoyment.



Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "F you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

Today, I was riding my motorcycle. Suddenly, I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. As a sign of anger, I spat my gum towards her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into the bushes. FML

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

This is the best one:
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

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Sacred "Social" Update

When has Facebook gone too far? When has it entered our inner sanctuaries? When has Facebook defiled sacred ceremonies? Right Here....




No, I don't really care but seriously - Facebooking at the atlar?

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The People of Walmart

I think the Man-Log has just scratched the surface on finding the most amazing and entertaining websites out there. I found one called PeopleOfWalmart.com. People sneak pictures on their cellphones of all the creatures that aren't shy about shopping at Walmart.



Warning! You don't want to see these. Here is just a taste:




Is there a kid hanging off there?



Brad Pitt in disguise?



Never grew out of the style I guess.



I think she was never supposed to leave home with that bracelet.



She is really going to use the mirror.



How'd you like some of her meat?



Stop looking already!


Ronald can comfort this immigrant.


What does the front look like?



She must really need to sell that car: Kia Spectra

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Aerobic Competition

To me, this is what the Man-Log is all about. Sending you obscure videos that simply put a smile on your face. And that is exactly what this is....




Oh and did I mention that this is Spencer in high school? Pretty much the whole time.....

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Man vs. Woman

[via NCL] I ran across this man vs. woman creative writing assignment and couldn't resist posting it. Basically a professor asked a male and female student to write a story together, with each writing a paragraph one after the other. The results: hilarious.




A TRUE STORY RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).

First, the Assignment:

English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller

In-class Assignment for Wednesday:

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rebecca starts:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gary:

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed, asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rebecca:

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychologically brutalising the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth --
when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to
become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gary:

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted, wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverise the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.

The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporised Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rebecca:

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Gary:

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred, tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Rebecca: Asshole.

Gary: Bitch.

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Fight Against Breast Cancer

Most people know someone close to them you has had or is having a battle with breast cancer or some other form of cancer. The following video was done to promote Medline's new pink gloves. It is a fun video, nothing hilarious, but Medline has offered to make a large contribution to a Portland area hospital and offer free mammograms once the video reaches 1,000,000 (that's one million, Alex) hits. (It already has 2,000,000).

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